The Broken-Hearted Moms Club

When my baby died earlier this year my least favorite phrase I heard from many people was "I know exactly what you are going through." Or a similar variation. To me that statement is in no way true or comforting. Even though, these people may have lost a baby or their sister lost a baby or their mother lost a baby, does not mean their experience was the same as mine. No two experiences are the same. Especially when it comes to life, birth and death, which all three happen to apply here.
However, I will admit the commonality that I do share with these people is we have all experienced the loss of a child, and with that experience we have therefore been thrusted into "The Broken-Hearted Moms Club". Please don't misunderstand. I would much rather not be a part of such a club. Who in their right-mind would? Nonetheless, here I am and here I will stay.
Something that has brought me comfort through this tough time is seeing friends, family, ward members, aquaintances, high school friends, co-workers, etc. who have lost and overcome such trials through learning and growing. This strength in turn causes me to do the same. Although none of us would choose to be in this club. We are here, and we should lean on and learn from others who have a gapping hole in their heart from the loss of a child.
Since I have lossed my baby many club members have mentioned "My heart is breaking for you". I did not have confirmation that this feeling was true until my sister-in-law, who is very dear to me, found out she lost one of her triplets close to the same time I lost my baby. However, because she was pregnant with triplets she did know such tragedy had occurred until almost 2 weeks after her precious daughter died. I can say that my heart honestly broke for her. Not only because she is 1,200 miles away and I could not see her, but I would never wish such an experience on anyone. Not even my worst enemy. Through it all I have accepted my trial and have learned and grown so much since our journey began. Our family has grown. Our marriage has grown. My heart has softened.
Each time I hear of mom who has lost a child, which is more common than I thought, I immediately form a bond with her and induct her into "The Broken-Hearted Moms Club". If you know me you know I am not a hugger. I have major space issues, and I only allow those whom I love into my space circle. But when I think of moms who have experienced the same heart ache as me, all my space shields go down and all I want to do it hug her and comfort her and tell her everything happens for a reason. And everything will be OK.